Many times, as we try to be effective interpersonal communicators, it’s not just the message, but the intent and strategy behind it that matter. A communications plan that works at home often works in the office. Join Can You Hear Me? Podcast co-hosts Rob Johnson and Eileen Rochford as they welcome career and relationship coach Gabriela Embon as they discuss ‘High Impact Rituals that Deepen Connections.’
Gabriela Embon is a Chemical Engineer, Relationship Coach, Author, influential Host of the Life Engineering podcast, and dynamic Keynote Speaker.
After spending eight years as a chemical engineer, Gabriela transitioned into couples coaching, bringing with her a unique edge—combining the precision of engineering with deep insights into human potential.
She believes that a fulfilling adult life hinges on two essential components: an ideal career and a thriving primary relationship.
Here's the truth: Emotional ROI matters just as much as financial ROI. At the end of the day, success means nothing if you don’t have someone to share it with.
Gabriela’s work helps couples optimize connection, communication, and partnership, ensuring that their relationship thrives alongside their career, not despite it.
She inspires high achievers and organizations to succeed, shedding light on the strategies needed to engineer extraordinary careers and build resilient, fulfilling relationships both inside and outside the workplace.
Gabriela is the proud author of Becoming a Power Couple – 4 Pillars to Engineer Legendary Marriages, which empowers individuals to embrace key principles that strengthen and elevate their relationships over time.
When she’s not working, Gabriela loves spending time with her three amazing children and her husband of 27 years.
Rob Johnson: [00:00:17] Hello everyone welcome to another edition of the can you hear me podcast i'm rob johnson president of rob johnson communication [00:00:23][6.0]
Eileen Rochford: [00:00:24] And I'm Eileen Rochford, CEO of the Harbinger Group, a marketing and strategy firm. As our listeners know, we are committed to raising essential communications techniques. Today, we're going to take a closer look at interpersonal techniques that not only work in the office, but at home as well. [00:00:40][16.2]
Rob Johnson: [00:00:40] That's right. To do this, we have our special guest today, Gabriela Embon. She is a business and relationship coach. She's the author of the book, Becoming a Power Couple, Four Pillars to Engineer Legendary Marriages. And Gabriela joins us right now. Gabriela, welcome to Can You Hear Me? We're so glad to have you on. [00:00:57][17.0]
Gabriela Embon: [00:00:58] Thank you, Rob and Eileen. I'm so excited. First time with two interviewers, so this is really exciting. [00:01:03][5.4]
Rob Johnson: [00:01:04] Well, we'll try to keep the train on the tracks for you. So, Gabriela, before we discuss today's topic, High Impact Rituals That Deepen Connections, why don't you give us a little bit about your background, your origin story, so people get a better idea of who you are and how you got to this point. [00:01:20][16.1]
Gabriela Embon: [00:01:20] You know, last week I was asking in a podcast, where was I born? And I said I was born in the land of great meat and great soccer players. So that's where everything starts. Hopefully, everybody was able to guess, right? I think so. Yeah, yeah. Lucky you. So my origin starts with a passion for science, therefore becoming a chemical engineer. For different reasons, like I said, first one is a passion of science, but secondly, the desire to provide for myself pretty fast with an engineering degree, you kind of don't need to go through the academics of busters and you know. PhD in order to have a decent job, a decent salary. Eight years into the profession, I realized that I was more passionate about helping people than producing Pentium IV. And hence, I decided that if I don't do a career change now, I will probably regret it because now I was 35. I mean, you can do it any time, of course, it's never too late to course correct. I said, this is the time when the kids are young and I'm still young. So that's what happened. I did a career change 15 years ago to engineer, to coaching, and started building my coaching practice pretty much like an engineering process, one brick at a time, one step at a, this is where I am today, really passionate about helping people build extraordinary lives, specifically career relationships and the intersection between them, because somehow we sometimes believe we have to settle one for the other and I don't buy into that. [00:02:57][96.5]
Eileen Rochford: [00:02:58] Okay, this is going to be good. I can't wait to hear. I have to say this is a topic we have not even come close to touching in any way on our show in the past. So I think listeners are going to be pretty intrigued by what you have to share today. So Gabriela, your book, again, it's called Becoming a Power Couple. It deals primarily with communications at home, But I know you feel like what starts at home. Specifically, the dinner table can help teach people to be better communicators and leaders at work. So tell us, how does that translate? That's, I got to tell you, this is a very unique topic and I'm really glad you wrote a book about it. So let's hear more about what you think. [00:03:32][34.8]
Gabriela Embon: [00:03:33] So ideally, it starts at home in the dinner table when we're young, or we teach those communications skills, much how to listen, how to be curious, how to ask the right questions to our children. And we do that at home. We have this ritual that we eat supper together. We have three children, 16, 18, and 23. And we started this ritual of having dinner together very early. In the beginning, it was more about teaching them, table manners and respect and appreciation for my cooking. And what ended up happening is that, okay, let me start by telling you what actually happened because there's this beautiful story here. I'm gonna go back a little. About a month ago, my 23-year-old daughter was coming back from her internship in Loafer and she texted me, what's for supper? And I texted her back, hello to you as well, how was your day? How come when people think, my children think about me, that's the first question they have in their mind, what's the for supper. So I asked her, this is what you're asking me. Hey, hi mom, how was your day? And she said something that blew my mind. I was not prepared for that. She said, it's because, are you ready for this? She said it's, because it's the highlight of my day. [00:04:48][74.9]
Rob Johnson: [00:04:48] Oh, no [00:04:49][1.0]
Gabriela Embon: [00:04:50] I know. On one hand, I felt so bad that I even asked that. On the other hand, I was I needed to hear that. I was like, oh. [00:04:56][6.2]
Eileen Rochford: [00:04:57] Yeah. [00:04:57][0.0]
Gabriela Embon: [00:04:57] I sent her a lot of emoji hearts and stuff like that, but it made me realize that what started as a ritual that my husband and I decided that it was important for us to talk, have conversations at dinner table and, you know, convey values and talk about the world, which is such a fast-paced and crazy world, ended up being a gift for them and they probably more than we thought it. [00:05:23][25.5]
Rob Johnson: [00:05:23] And you were sitting there, I don't know, putting her on the defensive, it was like, hey, nice to hear from you too, and then she blows you away with just the ultimate compliment, I would think. That's really. [00:05:35][11.8]
Gabriela Embon: [00:05:35] I didn't realize how important it was for them. But looking back, I see it, because every time one of them brings a dilemma or a topic of conversation, it's no longer my husband and I asking questions and coaching them. They're actually coaching each other and providing perspective from their point of view. They're all very different. They have different path and interests. So everybody is always contributing in the way they know better. So they're learning to listen. And the learning to ask the right questions and the learning to coach and to be respectful of each one's opinions. I mean, this is priceless. [00:06:11][36.0]
Rob Johnson: [00:06:12] Really is. I mean, and I was going to ask you that, but you just answered it about they're learning the listening piece, but they're also learning the asking good questions thing. And that's a priority at your dinner table. And I think that's fascinating. And it probably should be the priority at more dinner tables. So bravo for doing that. Thank you. So today's topic… what we're going to dive in deep here on is the high-impact rituals that deepen connections. So when we talk about this, what rituals are you talking about? And how do they go about deepening the connections? [00:06:42][30.4]
Gabriela Embon: [00:06:43] So, between spouses, we like to divide the type of rituals into two types. We have connection rituals and operational rituals. Operational rituals are meant to facilitate life together. It's not easy to live with another person, right? So, they actually create smoothness and flow into everyday life. And usually I share three types of operational rituals. We have weekly planning meetings because hey, there's so much going on, right? Especially if you are talking about two people who are very driven and are high achievers, everybody has their career, you have the children, the family. So operational rituals help us reduce friction and increase flow. Starting with a weekly planning meeting that we do normally Sunday night to make sure we are on top of what's going on this week from meal prep to meetings and school teacher interviews, you name it. The second operational ritual is daily check-ins. That's usually done the morning off or the day, the night before. That when you remind each other, don't forget that tomorrow you are picking up the children because I'm staying late at work. So again, we're helping each other work as a team. We're not expecting the other one to remember because maybe they won't because everybody has so much in their mind. So we're collaborating that way. And the last operational ritual I share, I call it communication and demand. And this is my favorite one, because we're really good at this with my husband. Communication and demand is when there's so much going on, you have so much on your mind, that you turn to your partner and you say, can we just have a meeting and discuss the next couple of weeks, because otherwise this is not going to end well. And there, it could be that you look at your schedule together, your map out, needs to be done or how you support each other in the next couple of weeks. Maybe you have a launch at work and you need your spouse to support you better. So this is what I call on-demand or need. The idea is to stay connected and to communicate because when you date, you can coordinate, and when you coordinate, you collaborate. And then you feel you are in this together and you can create more than if you were doing it on your own. You actually fuel each other each other rather than getting in the way. So that's one type of rituals. Then we have the connection that their purpose is really to make sure that you and your partner stay emotionally connected, especially when we are so busy. You need to keep nurturing the bond because when couples feel emotionally connected they communicate better, they solve problems as a team, they're nicer to each other, they support each other. And that's really what we're aiming for. So there are different connection rituals. I can share three that my husband and I really, um, practice religiously. Um, one is a daily walk, usually at the end of the day, even if it's just a walk around the block. And that's where we communicate just for the purpose of debriefing your day or sharing what happened today, or just sharing what you listen in your last podcast or a book you've been reading. This is extremely important because, because communication starts when things are fun. People expect to communicate great when they have a challenge, when there's an argument, when there's a misunderstanding. But if we don't communicate outside the challenge, if we don't practice fun communication, or just daily communication, then we're going to communicate purely poorly when there is a challenge. So we need to start practicing when things are easy. So, we're ready when things are more difficult. The second ritual connection ritual is a weekly date, the 90 minute weekly date. Yes, This is not new, but it's also not overrated. It's really important to take 90 minutes a week to date your partner. And don't talk about corporations. Don't talk the children. Talk about whatever you want. Again, back to fun communication. Fun communication needs to be practiced. And sometimes people say, I have nothing to talk about with my spouse. Well, talk about anything. A YouTube video you watch, like I said. Podcast you listen to, anything. We're bombarded with information. So the belief that there's nothing we can talk about is really a perception we have. It's an illusion because there's so much in our face that we can always find something to talk about. And the last one, the last connection ritual is more physical. It is a morning hug or morning cuddle. When we start the day with a morning hug or morning cuddle and bed, that physical connection releases oxytocin and it makes us feel emotionally connected. From physically connected, we convert that energy into emotional connection. So we want connection rituals to nurture the bond, but we also want operational rituals. So we run this relationship like a business with two shareholders. [00:11:39][296.0]
Eileen Rochford: [00:11:40] Oh my gosh, I love those. I can't decide which one is my favorite. Rob, which, okay. We don't have to be too personal here, but I could identify and see in my own marriage multiple of the different operational and connection rituals that you just described. I could go first if that makes you more comfortable, Rob. I'll just say the daily walk. I don't even know. No one ever told us to do that. I have no idea why, but we do the walk. Every single day pretty much. Sometimes there's a little arm twisting involved, but not too often. But the walk sets the tone for the day. If the walk doesn't happen, I can tell you we don't get along very well that day. [00:12:19][38.7]
Rob Johnson: [00:12:20] So you know, you know you have to. I would say, because my wife, Stacey, is vice president of Rob Johnson Communications, so we talk about a lot of organizational things all the time, and a great challenge has been to really adhere to some of those connection rituals that you were talking about, Gabriela. So I would for me, we don't do a daily walk, but the dating your partner and being aware of that, I think that's very important. You know, we've been married 25 years in a month. People change, and situations change, and all that sort of thing. And you sometimes need to be reminded whether it's the connection techniques and rituals you were talking about, Gabriela, that this is a priority. So I would say, you said the daily walk, I would every once in a while, let's go to dinner, let's just do something between the two of us, let's try not to talk about work. And we love our son very much. We talk about him a fair amount, but we don't need to talk about him all the time. So to your point, that's kind of where I sit. [00:13:25][65.5]
Gabriela Embon: [00:13:25] Yeah, when is September? [00:13:26][0.9]
Rob Johnson: [00:13:27] Pardon me? [00:13:27][0.3]
Gabriela Embon: [00:13:27] When in September is the anniversary? [00:13:29][1.2]
Rob Johnson: [00:13:29] It's September 23rd, 25 years. [00:13:32][3.7]
Eileen Rochford: [00:13:33] Yay. I'm curious, those connection rituals that you were talking about and the operational, but I mean, let's say the connection once for the first question, are there any rules associated with them aside from don't talk about work? It has to be fun. Are there any other rules that people might benefit from understanding? [00:13:52][19.4]
Gabriela Embon: [00:13:53] They are training wheels, but not wheels. Okay! Um, so training wheels is when you feel this is awkward, I don't know what to talk about. Then you can just either ask Chachi Pitti what to talk about or what questions you can prompt, right? And bring those, um, to the, to the date, but eventually, you know, I'll give you an example. Yesterday we'll watch a romantic comedy, something called my Oxford year or something like that. And this morning when having our coffee, we talk about that. And I said, yeah, it was, I asked him, did you like the And he said, yeah, romantic comedy, nothing. I said, I know. But what actually resonated with me was looking at the Oxford University, the books, the library, the old. It made me nostalgic for that simple, old, no AI era. So it opened a whole new conversation. So that comes naturally to us. But if it doesn't, then get training wheels. You'll become better. [00:14:52][59.1]
Eileen Rochford: [00:14:52] Good advice. I love that. They're not rules. That's great for the training wheels. But it's good advice for newly married and people who've been married for a very long time. So universally, that's excellent advice because you're right. Some couples and some people are just naturally good at that. Others... Might need to develop the skill. So I love that using GVD is to help get you launched, if you will, just on the start. But that's a nice transition, I think, because the next thing I'd like to explore with you, Gabriela, is your own viewpoint on the use of AI. I think you have some pretty strong feelings about that, as well as how we use it and what it can not replace. So tell us what you think about AI. [00:15:38][45.4]
Gabriela Embon: [00:15:39] Lots of conflicting feelings around AI, I'm sure many people have. I think it's great to use it to enhance, but not to replace. So if you want to use it to improve a skill to enhance communication, to look for ideas, creative ideas, that's fantastic. How do I approach this? Fantastic. It cannot replace you, right? At the end of the day, you still need to show up and you still need to put your hand on your spouse's shoulder and say, I am here for you. So I think that more than before, our human skills are needed. And not knowing what to say or what to do is no longer an excuse. When I look at information, it's no longer a scarcity, right? We have, we always know what to, it really is a question of commitment and showing up. So more than ever, we need to, yeah. And also, we can get really busy with chatting, right. It could be a great distraction. So that's why the rituals are so important. [00:16:36][57.8]
Rob Johnson: [00:16:37] I love that you talk about enhancing and not replacing because that's such a big emphasis of pushback when people talk about AI and the concern they have for it. Eileen and I have talked about AI on this program many times, but not in this way and format. So it's really fascinating to hear you talk it because it is a tool. It is a value add to your professional or personal life, but it can't or it shouldn't replace so many other things. [00:17:05][27.7]
Gabriela Embon: [00:17:05] It's fine. We're talking about human connection. This soul doesn't do AI. [00:17:08][3.3]
Rob Johnson: [00:17:11] That's true. [00:17:11][0.3]
Gabriela Embon: [00:17:12] Absolutely. And not only that, sorry, but just one more thing. People were saying, well, soon we'll have robots that or AI will know you so much, it will tell you everything you want to hear can become your best friend. That's, in my opinion, quite dangerous because if AI knows what you want hear and actually, you know, never triggers you, tells you everything you want here, how are you supposed to grow if you never trigger? So that could be in my and perception brightening. That they cannot replace and yeah. [00:17:44][31.9]
Eileen Rochford: [00:17:44] Yeah, we've had to look at a lot into the use of AI in the space of grieving for one of our clients. And that really has been developing at a rapid pace. And one of the things that psychologists say on that topic is an echo chamber is not going to help you heal emotionally. So. Yeah, it's very dangerous. Yeah, so it's growth, healing is growth. And that's very akin to what I think you're saying, Gabriela. So in general, AI, you know, going to AI, when you're having trouble with your spouse and saying, what should I do? I don't know if that's such a great idea. Maybe you just asked your spouse or your coworker. [00:18:20][36.2]
Rob Johnson: [00:18:21] To communicate, hey gosh, Donnie, why don't you communicate? That's a great idea. Actually talk to them and figure out what's going on. So Gabriela, we always like to leave our listeners with something actionable, something to take with them. So as we start to wrap things up here, what do you want to leave out listeners with today? [00:18:40][18.6]
Gabriela Embon: [00:18:40] Since we are talking about communication and this is your playground, right? I would say start practicing fun communication. It's that people start practicing having deep and difficult conversations that go, oh, I don't want that. And I get it, right. But if you want to get better at that, start practicing fan. I don't want to say casual because the purpose is to connect, but fun communication just with the purpose of connecting and learning more about yourself. The better you become at that the easier it will be to have the more difficult conversation. [00:19:12][31.8]
Rob Johnson: [00:19:13] So would fun communication be communicating the things that you like, communicating things that are positive, as opposed to, oh, I've got to talk to you about something that's not so positive? That's right. What do you mean specifically? [00:19:22][9.3]
Gabriela Embon: [00:19:22] So, for example, the example I gave when we were talking this morning, we have this ritual every morning. We have coffee together in the living room with our golden in between our legs. She's always sitting between the two of us. And there's always a topic of discussion. That's fun communication. We're not talking about the tasks or the obligations for the day. We are not solving problems in that moment. We were just talking about anything to have fun like we out for coffee. So we were this morning, we're talking about the movie watch last night, but it could be anything. I have plenty of examples. So anything that you feel like sharing a piece of you, your ideas, your preferences with your spouse, talk about anything just for the purpose of connecting and have the training with the prompts. You can ask the GPT, what should I talk to tomorrow when I go for a walk with my spouse? And you can ask them if you could go time, anytime in history, where would you land if you had a time machine? That's another question that Chachipiti will tell you to ask. [00:20:23][61.2]
Eileen Rochford: [00:20:24] Oh, that's a good one. [00:20:25][0.8]
Gabriela Embon: [00:20:25] Practice fun communication. When people feel emotionally connected, then they communicate better when they have a chance to understand. They don't communicate to win, they communicate to connect, to understand [00:20:39][13.6]
Eileen Rochford: [00:20:39] Yeah, I can see that having direct application in the workplace as well, your colleagues. So those of us who struggle with small talk, that's your incentive, the having the fun conversations makes having the difficult conversations a lot easier. So that's that's [00:20:57][17.7]
Rob Johnson: [00:20:58] And I always look at it as equal opportunity, like I communicate a lot and I'm not just going to communicate the things that I don't like, the things that are not pleasant. I always try to if it's something that you know, somebody made something or did something well or just giving that compliment. And I think that's part of what you're talking about relative to fun communication, is making sure that you're communicating the positives whenever you feel them or see them or whatever the case is. Because sometimes people have a habit of not communicating those positive things, your fun communication as it were, Gabriela, but only communicating, I didn't like this or this wasn't good or that sort of thing. And then all of a sudden, people tune you out. [00:21:32][34.1]
Gabriela Embon: [00:21:32] Right. That's right. I mean, yesterday when we're talking this morning, when we were talking about the movie and going at how nostalgic I became about the old ways, my husband said, well, that's a reason that I enjoy cooking. He has a stew he makes, a Google stew, only he makes. He's the only one making it at home. It takes four hours. There's no way I'm going to cook one stew in four hours, but he takes the time to cut everything so small and have the layers of flavor. And he says, this is why I enjoy that, because it's the way things used to be, Not putting the microwave quickly, it's done. Creating from scratch. So you see how it opens the communication. You start with one thing and it evolves into what matters to us, what's in our heart. And we're always changing, like matter 20 years ago is not what matters today. [00:22:16][43.7]
Eileen Rochford: [00:22:17] Absolutely. Well, Gabriela, I'm a business and relationship coach and author of Becoming a Power Couple. Thank you for joining us today. This has been a lovely conversation. [00:22:26][9.3]
Gabriela Embon: [00:22:27] Yes, thank you for having me and for your beautiful energy. [00:22:30][2.8]
Rob Johnson: [00:22:29] So, so insightful. We appreciate it so much. So that's going to do it for another edition of Can You Hear Me? I'm Rob Johnson. If you'd like to comment on the podcast or suggest a topic, please contact us at our Can You Hear me? Podcast page on LinkedIn. [00:22:43][13.9]
Eileen Rochford: [00:22:44] And I'm Eileen Rochford. If you like what you heard today, please consider giving, and you hear me, a positive review wherever you get your podcasts, like Apple or Spotify, because your reviews will help other listeners find our show. Thanks for listening, everyone. [00:22:44][0.0]
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